So it’s coming up to 2 years since my husband had his affair. Getting past this New Year was a big thing for me, because it meant that there was a whole year between now and what happened… and although the affair was actually March 2010 – like I say nearly 2 years ago, that whole year in between seems to make a massive difference… almost like a wall of concrete between me and my life now, and the horrendous time that was 2010.
I don’t know if it’s that that makes a difference, but recently I’ve been feeling that I don’t need to be sad any more. I’ve often spoke about how I’m not angry at my husband for what he did, and I’m still not angry on the whole. Just at times I feel less sad, and more angry I think.
I see that as an improvement, because ‘sad’ gets old…. Crying gets old. I have cried more ears than I ever felt possible… And to be honest, althought the sadness is fading, the tears still come – often after a song or a movie that hits just that little bit too close to home.
We had a lovely Christmas, and new year was quiet as usual, but he did happen to arrive home from work two strokes after midnight so it was lovely. I love how my husband finds those things important, like me. Everyday I am reminded how right we are together… We always have been… That makes things pretty tough sometimes, because he DID have an affair, in spite of us being perfect together.
In other news thing have been pretty normal… which makes a change… and anybody who has been through an affair will understand what I mean. Life is never normal after an affair because the affair is at the forefront of your mind all of the time. And when I say all, I mean all. Lately I’ve found that some days, possibly whole days I haven’t actually thought of the affair at all. This does surprise me, but on the other hand everywhere at you look online says the recovery time is 2 to 5 years… So perhaps hitting two years will be a massive milestone and things will only get better from here. I’m sure things will only get better from here. I want you to know if you’re new to this blog, or even if you’re an old reader who has been with me from the beginning,or close to the beginning. At times I felt there was no point in carrying on. At times I felt every day was just too much of a struggle – I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said “this is too hard” … But I am here to tell you that if you just fight through those days… better days will come and lots of them.